1. Blue Light Special


    Date: 10/7/2015, Categories: Humor, Author: Buz, Rating: 34, Source: LushStories

    tore the order tickets out of her pad and clipped them above the grill. Wilbur burst through the back door. “You yahoos figure out what ya want for lunch?” “They’re having breakfast, honey, All-Star Specials.” “A salad every now and then wouldn’t hurt ‘em.” Wilbur eyed the two tickets above the grill. As Wilbur got to work cooking on the grill, Doreen started the waffles. In just a few minutes the two orders were dished up and Doreen sat their plates down in front of them on the counter. “Here ya go, sweeties.” “Damn, this looks and smells dee-liscious!” Bugs’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “I’ll get you two honeys some more sweet tea and coffee.” Within a few minutes, Bugs and the sergeant cleaned up their plates as if they hadn’t eaten in a week. “Y’all must’ve been hungry,” exclaimed Doreen as she saw them finishing off their last bites of food. “I hadn’t seen food disappear that fast since the high school football team came by after winning the region championship game last fall.” “Yep, that was a good team, but I don’t expect a repeat.” Sarge wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Why’s that?” asked Doreen. “Nearly all seniors,” Sarge said, “the boys comin’ up are small and inexperienced.” “Aw,” answered Doreen. “Everyone always complains when they don’t win.” About then they heard a siren in the distance. Bugs, Sarge, Doreen and Wilbur all cranked their heads toward the front window. Coming around the corner on two wheels, blue lights flashing, was a two-toned brown ...
    county sheriff’s car. As it approached the Waffle House the siren went silent and the flashing lights stopped. The car slowed suddenly and pulled into the parking lot. Two heavy set county deputies in brown uniforms piled out of the car adjusting their large bellies over their belt buckles. “We got us a couple of deputy dogs,” Doreen snipped. Bugs and the Sarge spun around on their counter stools to greet the two deputies as they came through the door. “What are you fellas up to?” bellowed Sarge. “Why, howdy, Sarge,” said the portliest of the two deputies. ”You too, Bugs.” “Wazzup, Petey?” countered Bugs. The two deputies took the counter stools just past Sarge and Bugs. “Ah, the usual.” Petey grabbed a menu. “Been ticketing out-of-staters on the interstate.” “What y’all been writin’ ‘em up for?” Sarge looked at Bugs and winked. Petey’s partner cleared his throat. “Ah, hell. nothin’, we get creative. They ain’t gonna drive all the way back to challenge it.” “Hell, we wrote two New Jersey tags up for illegal window tint.” Petey laughed. “Just how dark was the tint?” Sarge asked. “Tweren’t no tint, really.” Petey said, before he and his deputy partner broke into laughter. Bugs shook his head and groaned. “Y’all are liable to end up on one of them TV exposés like 60 Minutes.” “Hell, if they do I’ll get a fresh haircut for the TV,” quipped Petey, “make my old lady proud.” Nodding at Doreen, Sarge waved his ticket. “C’mon, Bugs, let’s pay up and go make this town safe.” As the ...