1. Blue Light Special


    Date: 10/7/2015, Categories: Humor, Author: Buz, Rating: 34, Source: LushStories

    The train seemed like it would run on forever. Sitting in his black and white police cruiser, several cars back waiting in line, police officer, Bugs Parr, squirmed in his seat with impatience. Leaning forward, he stretched his neck to see if he could see the end of the long noisy freight train. “Goddamn if that ain’t the longest fuckin’ train I’ve seen in ages,” Sergeant Wilson said as he rolled his passenger side window down and spit. Hanging his arm out the window he sucked his teeth and said, “When the caboose comes by and the gate goes up, pop the blues and hit the siren. I’m hungry as hell.” “Me too, Sarge,” Bugs grunted. “Damn, my stomach is growling.” “Yeah, I’ve noticed.” “I thought that box of Krispy Kremes would hold us.” Bugs began to drum his fingers on the steering wheel. “Damn, Bugs,” the sergeant growled, “You damn nearly ate the whole box of donuts, I only got four.” He counted four fingers on his hand to himself. “Yep, you had eight god-damned donuts.” Bugs chuckled, “Well, I’m a big guy.” “You damn right, you’re big ole tall lard ass,” Sarge laughed out the side of his mouth then leaned forward as something caught his attention. “There’s the fucking caboose! As soon as that gate lifts, light this thing up.” As the caboose passed and the gate lifted, the traffic started to move forward through the junction. Bugs reached forward and switched on the blue lights and the siren. Vehicles scrambled left and right to let the police cruiser with its emergency ...
    blue lights and loud siren pass. Bugs gunned the accelerator and the powerful engine of the cruiser sped past the chaotic mess of cars. The inertia of the sudden acceleration pushed both officers back in their seats. “Up here at Highway 50, go right and we’ll hit the Waffle House at Main Street,” Sarge commanded. “Good idea,” Bugs chirped, “that’s the best damn Waffle House in town.” Wiping off a table by the front window, Doreen heard the siren and noticed a city police cruiser speeding down the street with its blue lights on. “Wilbur!” she yelled, “we got some customers comin’.” As soon as she said that, the cruiser’s siren and lights stopped as it slowed and pulled into the Waffle House parking lot. After snapping off his seat belt, Bugs grabbed the radio and called in, “Laurie, this is Bugs, we’re taking a 10-40.” The radio cracked back. “Bugs, which Waffle House are y’all at?” “Corner of Main and State Fifty.” “Gotcha,” Laurie quipped over the radio. Bugs and Sarge exited their cruiser and as soon as they saw Doreen through the large glass windows, they both attempted to suck in their beer gut stomachs. They straightened their shoulders and strolled to the front doors, looking as straight and tall as possible. Bugs at well over six feet tall had no problem, but for the sergeant, who was a bit squatty, especially next to Bugs, it was a real challenge. “Who is it, Doreen?” snapped Wilbur. “Oh, it’s just Sarge and Bugs.” “Bugs owes me twenty-five dollars on the god-dammed ...
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