1. The Grand Eclectic Pornocomedy: Chapter 1


    Date: 2/17/2016, Categories: Fiction, Author: Cunnidingus, Rating: 65, Source: sexstories.com

    as I try not to bust immediately, especially because I just realized I'm not wearing a condom and I don't know what kind of preventative measures this lady has taken. "Are you on birth control or something?" "No," she says as she continues to rise and fall on me with increasingly rapid intervals, occasionally stopping to do this thing where she rocks her hips back and forth and all around and makes me feel like I'm gonna melt. She breathes heavily in my face and her breath smells of macaroni. I've smelled worse. I tolerate it. "Ok," I say. In my effort to not ejaculate, I watch the TV as she rides me. There's some story about a health scandal involving pink slime in fast food, but all I can really think about is how I will continue to eat fast food no matter how gross it actually is. I mean, I've loved it my whole life, so if it turns out to be slimy pink stuff, then that just means I've loved slimy pink stuff my whole life. Who cares? Suddenly my focus returns to the task at hand as her insides begin to spasm violently around my member. Her macaroni-panting intensifies combined with gentle, dazed laughter and I feel a charge of sexual energy accelerate up my spine. When she reaches her peak, she rolls off to the left. At the same exact moment, a white thunderbolt shoots out of my dick, up into the air, comes back down and splatters on my shirt. "EW! FUCK! EW! FUCK!" She stops laughing for a second to look at the commotion, then she laughs even harder. I look at her, "Fuck ...
    you, dude, I like this shirt." "I'm sorry, I didn't know that would happen," she says, still laughing her cute little ass off. Cursing to myself, I go to the bathroom and take my shirt off to try and rinse off the cum. She follows me, still laughing, and sits on the counter. "Dude, gross, I brush my teeth here." "Shut up and eat my pussy," she says, opening her legs. I don't know what makes her think I'm into that submissive shit, but I'll admit, it's kinda hot, but still, I can't make this easy for her. "Ew dude, my dick was just in there." She gets off of the counter and very deliberately kneels down, grabs my dick, places it in her mouth, sucks on it for a good ten or fifteen seconds, then says in a mocking nasally tone, "Ew dude, my pussy was just on that," before resuming her seat on my counter and leaning back to expose her hoo-ha. "Alright, point taken," I say as I kneel before her. Her pussy looks weird. Not uniquely weird, pussy in general just looks weird, but a good weird, not a bad weird. I inspect it, combing through the kinda-soft, kinda-coarse blonde hairs with my fingertips and petting it like a cat, obviously giving her no pleasure but at this point I'm really just trying to fuck with her. Putting her feet on my shoulders, she pulls me towards her wet, bearded ham flower thing. I tell her it looks like a slain Viking and she grabs my head and shoves my face in it. I give in and try to lick it as best I can, but I'm very inexperienced at this art. Carefully ...
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