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The Grand Eclectic Pornocomedy: Chapter 1
Date: 2/17/2016, Categories: Fiction, Author: Cunnidingus, Rating: 65, Source: sexstories.com
I wake up, sit up halfway and look at the clock on the dresser. It reads 2:33. I grunt because, fuck, that's really early. I lay back down, scratch my pubes and try to sleep harder but it doesn't work. Frustrated, I pop my head back up to see 3:22 on the clock. My dog that I don't have sings me a lullaby and I slowly begin to drift away once again. I wake up again at 6:00, a more tolerable time. It's Saturday, so I really don't have to be anywhere, but it's my dog's birthday even though I don't have a dog, so I take him downtown to get some yogurt. The yogurt is really nice, and I walk outside to see this homeless nigga chilling on the sidewalk. We make eye contact and he does that cool head nod that cool people do when they see someone they think is cool. "Hey man, you like yogurt?" "I don't know man, I've never had it." It's a travesty, I know, so I go inside the yogurt shop and buy a fat pound of yogurt for the guy. He does that cool black guy laugh and says, "Man, this shit's pretty good, my nigga." Then he says, "You want a wish?" Now, I've heard strange things in my life before. I've heard lies, yearbook photographers have always told me my pictures look good. But I feel like this guy is telling the truth. So I tell him, "I'm pretty lonely. I wish I had a bad bitch to fuck. Or multiple bitches, I don't know." He does the cool black guy laugh once again, but louder. I try to do it too but it doesn't really work. The wind picks up and I see some leaves begin to spin ...