1. Blue Light Special


    Date: 10/7/2015, Categories: Humor, Author: Buz, Rating: 34, Source: LushStories

    Bugs,” bellowed the sergeant, “you just barely got through fuckin’ and you want donuts?” “Yeah, I sure could use a box.” Bugs wiped the sweat off his face. “You wanna go over to Burton’s Corner and buy some Krispy Kreme’s from the cheerleaders?” “Ugh.” Sarge buried his face in his hands. Just then a loud crack popped. Sarge jerked his head up. The sergeant’s shoulder radio in the floor blasted. “Where the hell are y’all?” Sarge jumped to his feet! The radio cracked again. “Code 2! Code 2! Bank robbery at TriState Bank and Trust on Highway 50!” “That’s us!” shouted the sergeant. He dropped to his knees in the floor, shuffling to grab his radio. “We’re here, Laurie.” “I’ve been calling y’all. Armed robbers at the bank!” Laurie’s voice sounded desperate. “We’re on it!” The sergeant pointed at Bugs, who had just sat up on the bed. “It’s a Code 3 now! Code 3! The robbers have left the bank.” Bugs jumped to his feet and snatched his uniform from the floor. Like a crazy out of rhythm dance, Bugs and Sarge jumped and bounced around, jerking their uniform trousers on, their gun belts, their radios. “Y’all gotta run!” shouted Doreen. Trying to step into his shoes, the sergeant tripped and fell to the floor. Half dressed Bugs and naked Doreen, helped him to his feet. The two officers scrambled down the trailer hallway with their shirts in their hands. Across the street from Doreen’s trailer sat the neighbor lady on the porch of her mobile home. With her little Chihuahua in her lap, ...
    she was enjoying the nice sunny day. Suddenly the peace was interrupted when the door to Doreen’s trailer swung open. The lady watched in horror as two town cops came scurrying out, struggling to put their shirts on. In shock, her mouth dropped open. Just then Sarge dropped his gun and had to stop and reholster it before he continued to button his shirt. The lady was further horrified as she saw Doreen appear in the doorway wearing only her bathrobe. “Y’all boys be careful, ya hear!” Doreen yelled and waved. Doreen then saw her neighbor staring at her in indignant shock. Doreen snarled back at her and then smiled and waved again at Bugs and Sarge as the engine to their police cruiser roared to life. “Pop the blues and hit the siren!” ordered the sergeant from the passenger seat. The siren blared and the blue lights flicked on. Bugs popped the car into gear and slammed the accelerator to the floor board. Suddenly black smoke from the spinning tires bellowed from the rear of the car. The powerful cruiser fishtailed, the spinning tires leaving curvy black marks on the asphalt in front of Doreen’s mobile home. Bugs jerked the steering wheel hard as the car went around the first corner on two wheels, tires squalling. He gunned it as they hit the straight away that led to the entrance to the trailer park. “Bugs, slow down before you get the intersection” shouted Sarge who was desperately trying to snap his seat belt. Bugs, with his adrenaline pumping, didn’t heed the sergeant’s ...