1. Desolation


    Date: 11/28/2016, Categories: Cheating, Author: SITTING, Rating: 27, Source: LushStories

    whimsical thought to pass the time and pretend that life can be perfect. Reality is here. Reality is breaking Mark’s heart. He always says he loves me but I don’t think he means it. It’s just something he does routinely, like brushing his teeth. Love is something I can’t get my head around. The break-up will hurt him though, I know that. He has this idea of us being together for life, I see it in his eyes and in his smile. I guess we’re at that age; almost out of our twenties and looking for something that’s meaningful. He just needs to realise that I’m not meaningful. I don’t mean a thing. I care about him, sure, but not enough to be with him permanently. Trent’s hand moves forward, and he pulls me to him, his fingers tight around mine. Alone with a cocaine-snorting stranger on a cliff top. It’s so stupid, it makes me want to laugh. But then, what’s life without a little fun? Happiness comes and goes. Endorphins. Hormones. Hope and despair. I want him too much. My body is desperate to feel his. There is something addictive about being with a man who knows what he’s doing. Last time, I thought I would never stop coming. The memory makes my mouth dry and my stomach clench. Trent’s hand moves under my dress, travelling at a slow, lazy pace, as if he has all day. I guess he does. He doesn’t have anyone to go back to, anyone to make excuses to. I tried with Mark. I really tried. I thought I could cut out everybody else but it was a constant exhausting fight, like swimming against ...
    rapids. I would add up the days and feel proud about it, like the pride was some recompense for the hours of need and anxiety. And then, Trent. Three hundred and four days of nail-biting loyalty. Gone. And I thought maybe one time, one, quick, meaningless time and it’ll be enough. It’ll remind me that I don’t need to be that girl anymore. But it didn’t. It was everything I remembered and for the first time in months I felt alive. The world was more beautiful. In some twisted way, I felt free. I still feel free. I don’t know how long it will last. I know it’s wrong. I know I can’t live this way forever but it’s all that feels right. Everything is so superficial these days. Nothing really matters because nothing’s real. A pretty face, a hot body, a smile and a sense of humour. There’s beauty in everyone but some people know it more than others. Some people fake it. Change their bodies and their personalities for acceptance or popularity. And it works. That’s the crazy thing. You get rewarded for pretending to be someone else. Trent is leaning against the passenger door of the rental car. He pulls me in between his legs and kisses me like it means something. Maybe it does mean something to him. It doesn’t to me. A wet tongue and a hungry mouth. He shifts, shoving his knee between my thighs. It feels almost lewd but it sends a thrill through my body and I lean into him, returning his kiss. He moves suddenly so our positions are switched and I can feel the heat of the car against ...
«12345»