1. Edwina,s Strang Birth Defect


    Date: 6/4/2016, Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor, Author: brianbigdogsmith, Rating: 62, Source: xHamster

    Kyle asked? Edwina swung the door open and looked at Kyle. His ragged blond hair fluttered in the wind. His eyes looked vague and his smile was moderately strong, a bit like his breath. “Is that a hairpiece,” she asked? “Of course not. It is natural,” Kyle answered. “Then why do you have a monkey hairstyle?” “Donald Trump. He is my second cousins father’s old roommate by marriage, twice removed. So it must be genetic.” “I now comprehend the situation,” Edwina replied. “And it is a situation.” Kyle e****ted Edwina to his car. He pointed to the door handle, “Whoop, there it is,” he said. Edwina opened the door herself and took up residence in the passenger seat. Kyle eventually made it to the driver’s seat after stumbling over his untied shoe laces. Once inside together with the windows in the upright position the moderately strong breath was no longer moderate. Edwina reached into her pocket and pulled out a small clear case with a white top. “Tic Tac,” she asked. “Toe,” Kyle replied. What in the world was he doing, she thought? Maybe he didn’t hear me. “Tic Tac,” she asked again. “Toe,” Kyle replied. “Tic Tac,” “TOE,” Kyle said with excitement! Edwina returned the container to her pocket and pulled out a small packet of spearmint. “Gum,” she asked? “Disease,” Kyle replied quickly. “Thats what I’m saying,” Edwina stated. “Gum?” “I don’t understand these games you are playing.” Kyle sounded baffled. “Just put a piece of this gum in your mouth, Kyle. Then we can play games.” ...
    Kyle finally pulled into a restaurant which prided itself on its down home éclat. Edwina had much to choose from, with their menu two and five-sixths furlongs in length. More food than the Jolly Green Giant could eat in a fortnight. She decided to go with the Tofu Cordon Bleu. Kyle chose his steak like he had chosen his women, rare, of course. Food arrived at their table in a slowly but timely manner. Edwina had no choice but to remove the black sock covering her arm to aid in preparing her food for masticating. She slid the handle of her meat substitute slicing utensil into her arm pussy. She began slicing open her Tofu Cordon Bleu, stuffed with cheese and ham, when Kyle finally noticed her protuberance. “What in the name of Oden is that,” Kyle asked exuberantly!? “That is a vagina on my arm. The pussy away from my cunt. It is like a home away from home.” “Well, you sure are cutting your tofu vigorously! Won’t that make you…” Before Kyle could finish his sentence Edwina let out a boisterous moan of gratification. “…uh, make you orgasm,” Kyle asked? “Of course you illogical bobble head,” Edwina replied after recovering. “That is what happens when you agitate a cunt long enough.” “What other activities do you perform that cause you orgasms?” “Mopping the floor, brushing my hair, changing the oil in my car, basically any activity that involves oscillating f***es and torque. And I’m basically the only girl who can shoot ping-pong balls out of her arm.” “That thing is fulgent! I ...
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