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Falling On My Ass Again
Date: 1/15/2017, Categories: Fantasy & Sci-Fi, Author: agathinavestia, Rating: 4, Source: LushStories
I was trying to get down a steep hillside instead of walking several miles around the ridge to get to the same destination, when I slipped and fell. Hard. I started sliding down the embankment and by the time I ended up at the bottom, my dress was up around my armpits and my ass felt like someone had spanked me with a porcupine. I hopped up quickly, no terrible harm done, no protruding bones, and started on my way again. "You there! Are you okay? That was a nasty fall!" I noticed the big human man at the same time he spoke. A stinking human. Oops! Elves aren't supposed to show ourselves to humans, apparently they believe they're the only intelligent beings on the planet. But, he saw me before I could hide. "Uh, I'm not an elf!" "I can see your pointy ears," he said. "And you're a little green person." He stepped closer and I almost ran away, but he wasn't a bad looking human and he didn't smell as bad as some others I'd met. "I've read about your kind; I always believed in you." "I'm not Santa Claus, you know," I said. "I exist whether you believe in me or not." I was playing it cool, looking for a way to get out of the situation, but still, I didn't want to lie to the guy and maybe scar him emotionally for life. Or something. Humans are generally very weak and whiny creatures and most seemed to rely on fairy tales to get them through their lives. "Okay, I'll give you that," he said. "You're not Santa Claus. Oh, actually you can help me with a little problem." "Oh, here it ...