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Chanel 17
Date: 11/5/2017, Categories: Masturbation, Author: tangerinesky, Rating: 8, Source: LushStories
I sigh heavily and finish taping up the last box. I didn't think I had that much shit, but the eight large, full boxes suggest otherwise. After Eugene dropped me back at Aaliyah's --after our daring stunt in the hills-- I decided to head home and start packing since I'd be paying the deposit on my apartment tomorrow. I changed into some jean shorts and a tight tank top while I packed, and it took me most of the day, but it's done. I flop onto my bare mattress and stare at the ceiling. I feel a slight pang of despair thinking about leaving this place. I've lived here for a long time, so many memories. This has been my room on two separate occasions, my last boyfriend, Brian, stayed here for a short time with me on the most recent stint. All the times I’ve had friends over, barbecues, birthday parties. All the nights Ethan and I hung out in the basement. Ethan... I cover my eyes with my arm thinking about my friend. We got closer in more ways than I ever thought we would, and I’ve never felt so distant from him now. The guilt I thought I once lost courses through my nerves at the unmistakable feeling that this is all my fault. I may have had cynical thoughts in general these last seven days, but I’d be lying to myself if I said I hadn’t thought about Ethan 95% of the time. I knew what we had wasn’t exclusive. I knew it wasn’t permanent to any degree, and I knew we weren’t together. But I also knew the unspoken nature of our ‘agreement’. Part of me felt like anything was ...