1. King Arthur in the Adventures of Cameltoe (Part 1)


    Date: 10/15/2017, Categories: Humor, Author: MaxwellSpanx2015, Rating: 2, Source: LushStories

    and has killed more men that the plague. Yet the same man is so soft, he would jump from his horse to help an elderly lady carry her food from the market. If I’m being honest, my problem is with Guinevere. She literally creams herself every time she’s in the same room as Lancelot. I wish she saw me in the same light as him, but I’m not even worthy to be Lancelot’s shadow. It’s not just Guinevere, even I, when we’re on campaign together... feel myself being lured by his all consuming charm. There was one time when we were imprisoned by the Normans, and shared the same dungeon... Actually we won’t go in to that. Anyway, back to my story. I know Guinevere well, and I know she would jump at the chance to ride Lancelot until he buckled. My suspicions grew when within a minute of arriving the pair was exchanging flirtations not seen since Adam showed Eve his pet snake. I whispered in Guinevere’s ear. “Concentrate on the jester you were so keen to see.” “I would if he didn’t keep dropping his balls.” “It’s not his balls that I’m worried about.” “Oh, Arthur, please. Stop it with the jealousy.” In need of a distraction I glanced about the room to find Merlin. However he was already wasted, and snored with the dogs in front of the huge fire. I raised my goblet of ale and finished it one... It was going to be a long night. The jester was particularly bad. We booed him off the stage. He was so flustered he walked face first straight into the closed door. We awarded him with the loudest ...
    applause of the night. As blood began to pour from his nose, I began to think that it wasn’t in fact a part of his act... Still, at least he won my affection, and right to keep his head. My guests and I had retired to the banquet hall where an informal orgy of meat eating ensued. I pretended to be engaged in conversation with the town mayor, who was trying to convince me to change the name of our town from Cameltoe to Camelot. I nodded without really listening. My mind was on Guinevere who passed herself around the male guests like a tray of spuds. They ogled her as if they were checking for blemishes, but they wouldn’t find one as she had skin like the finest white linen. I was rather unsurprised when Guinevere ended up with her favourite, Sir fucking Lancelot. I thought I was a good judge of character, but we’ve been married nearly ten years, and I still haven’t worked her out. Is she a slut on the sly? Or is she just good at using her unrivalled beauty to get what she wants? She has won me as much land using her pert arse as Lancelot has with his sword. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Lancelot placed his arm around Guinevere’s waist and left it to linger... Not only that, but she lay both hands on his chest, rubbing his fucking pecks. In normal circumstances I would have erupted right there and then. Lance would have been hung over the battlements by his testicles. However Lancelot is my main man. The guy has literally won wars for me. The truth is, if he wants to ...
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