1. King Arthur in the Adventures of Cameltoe (Part 1)


    Date: 10/15/2017, Categories: Humor, Author: MaxwellSpanx2015, Rating: 2, Source: LushStories

    night, wasn’t it?” “Fantastic, I just got back actually. Felt randy as hell after dropping you back. So hit the town for last orders, in the hope of catching some easy pickings.” Guinevere crossed her arms. “Easy..?” “Yeah... you know me, less picky than a dung collector.” Guinevere burst into tears and limped away as quickly as she could. “What’s up with her? Why is she running like Quasimodo?” I folded my arms and wore the widest smile that has ever graced my face. “I fucked her in arse.” I then glanced over my shoulder and nodded toward my fine work, before returning to Lancelot. “As you can see, I proper destroyed her.” “Well done you. You should smile more often, you look younger when you do.” “No, you know what that is? Merlin told me you should wipe cum on your face. I collected it after she deposited some on the sheets.” “Arthur... That was just one of Merlin’s jokes.” “What?” “You know... like if your horse is tired you should fuck it in arse.” “But...Oh, no wonder the stable boy doesn’t talk to me anymore.” “Arthur, surely you know Merlin is never serious... Christ, sometimes I wonder how you became king.” “It’s heredity, Lance.” “Interbreeding more like.” I took off my crown and scratched my thinning hair. “It’s not just me, he fooled Guinevere too.” “Poor Guin can be gullible at times too.” “Don’t tell her anything, though, not while she lets me cum on her face every night.”I placed my crown back on my head. “Anyway, I better go and wash my face, then.” “When you ...
    next see Guin. Please send her my sincerest apologies. And tell her that I didn’t mean what I said.” Lancelot brushed his hands through his blond locks. “Sometimes I say or do things without thinking.” “You know what women are like, Lance. Probably on her period or even worse... Pregnant.” “Whoa... don’t say that.” “Yeah... better not. Dealing with Merlin is enough without having kids.” I opened the bedroom door and stepped inside. Guinevere lay on the bed with her face buried into the pillow. Sitting beside her, I lay a hand on her shoulder. “What happened?” “Lance is a bastard.” “I’ve been telling you that for ages, but you’re always telling me he’s a nice guy.” “I never want to see him again... Hang him.” I chuckled to myself. “I was thinking about that until he told me he was gay” “Why would that stop you?” “Well now not only is he a great battlefield commander, he can interrogate prisoners.” “Huh?” “No one likes a dick in the arse.” Guinevere groaned into the pillow. “Tell me about it.” “So... are you going to tell me what’s up?” “Nothing... just forget it.” “Something’s up... I don’t think I have ever seen you cry before.” Guinevere lifted her tear strewn face from the pillow. She scowled, “That’s just it, you never see anything.” “I do.” “You don’t, you just go around living your life the way the way you want. Meanwhile everyone around are taking advantage of you.” “Who?” “I bet if I had sex with someone, you would be too stupid find out... and even if you did, you’ld ...
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