1. Letting Go


    Date: 7/22/2017, Categories: Love Stories, Author: GoodLilGirl, Rating: 0, Source: LushStories

    more I loved him, the more my insecurities built. Because of a number of bad experiences in my life, my insecurities began to build, as love has always left me, always abandoned me. Everyday began a new battle within me, but for the first time in my life, I truly had a partner and we were facing each challenge together. I felt our love was so strong, that nothing could tear it down. But these battles were taking a toll on our relationship and on our love. Little things were arising that were tearing our love and ultimately our relationship apart, piece by piece. My love for him never weakened, never wavered. I still knew our love was strong enough to take us through any battle that life or Lush could throw at us. Little did I know his love for me was changing. The battles were taking a toll and weakening his love for me. Our relationship was coming to an end. My heart was so broken, that I was physically sick. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. At times I felt I couldn't breathe from crying so hard. How was I going to go on with my life, my future? My future with this man was over. My life was gone and meaningless without him, but it was over. I was desperate. I knew I would never love again. I wanted no part of it. He was my everything, and he was gone; dammit all to hell, he was gone! The days that followed were a blur. There were days I couldn't even dress. I would sit and stare at my computer screen. I felt I had nothing to look forward to in life; the life we had planned ...
    and dreamed of was gone. I felt like crawling into a deep hole and never coming out. I truly was an emotional wreck and it was taking its toll on me, my body and my mind. It was gut wrenching! As the days went by, my friends would reach out to me, trying to talk to me; to break through the barriers I had built up to protect me from this pain, this loss. But nothing penetrated. I didn't want to hear them. I didn't want to hear them say, "You will get over this." Then something happened to two of my dearest friends, and I knew somehow I had to come out of this hole,and try and help them,as they had done for me. So each day I would try to pull my self out of this deep hole, this unbearable funk that had engulfed me. It was so hard. The pain was still so fresh, so deep was the wound. I asked myself, "How could I help anyone else?" But I knew my friends needed me. So I would take a little step each day. But it was only when he coldly sent me an email that only said, “Hello,” that made me realize the reality; "Sky, enough, he doesn't want you. All he can offer is his friendship." After all we had been through. I knew I had to do something. Then a good friend suggested, as a method of starting the healing process, that I should start writing down my thoughts; my hurts, my aches, my pain, my feelings. I told him I was no writer. But I did as he told me. I knew that I had to do something to break down this wall I had so skillfully constructed that was keeping me isolated and protected ...
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